My Private Journal-Excerpt Written on July 2, 2008 while at Cornerstone Music Festival

Religiously, I don't know what to say about myself lately.  I don't know how I got here, but this is where Im at.  By membership and upbringing, I'm Lutheran, but I don't go to the church anymore.  I wish more than anything to be Jewish, but I just can't deny Christ.  Although, I do wear a star of David anyway.  I've started calling myself a Messianic Jew, and, indeed, that's where my specific, personal beliefs lie-somewhere between MEssianic Judaism and emergent Christianity.  SO, I guess I do know where I stand religiously, but the real truth is that Im not sure it matters-meaning Im not sure it matters what I or anyone else believes.

I mean no two people believe the same things.  Different issues are important to different people.  Different churches (and even religions) emphasize different points about God.  In the end, no one is completely right, no one is completely wrong, and no one truly knows which is which.  Because of so many different takes on what is "most certainly true," I'm inclined to believe that God and the spirituality of our world is far more complicated than we can comprehend, and that, at the same time, faith is simpler than we generally allow it to be. 

I'm not a punk rocker, but I love them and camp with them-even though I don't particularly like camping, especially in the heat of July, which is when we go and is where I am now.

I'm not a hippie, but I do like loose skirts, long hair, and nature.  I'm also a fan of what pop culture calls 'being green,' though I hate that things like 'People' magazine have turned such a good idea into a cliche whose products suburban housewives use with the same wastefulness that they apply to everything else.

The truth is Im not a lot of things, but I like a lot of things and understand a lot more than people give me credit for.  Then again, I'm confused a lot, so maybe I don't understand as much as I think I do haha

I'm just a person among people.  I watch them, I interact with them, and I love them. :)

to be continued...

Currently Reading The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America By Erik Larson see related

The Quest for Consonance

Recently, I've realized that I suffer from cognitive disonance.  I knew I wasn't living in harmony-at least not personal, internal harmony-but I didn't know my condition had a name until a dear friend of mine found it on wikipedia (I think?). 

So, I'm a victim of cognitive disonance, and my question is-How does one resolve this type of disonance? up by step? down by step? a leap perhaps?

Currently Reading When Invisible Children Sing By Chi Cheng Huang, Irwin Tang see related

American society prides itself in being a free nation and our motto is "you can be anything you want to be if you just work at it."  This are our mantra, and we are indoctrinated with it as babies.  But, maybe this isnt the best line of thinking.  Maybe, in pursuing freedom from various would-be constraints, we're starting to go too far and are reaching the point where "freedom" is no longer "freeing."

With "anything" has the goal, how one can even begin to know what exactly to work towards?  What "thing" among "anything" to choose? 

Those who have no options learn to be content and find happiness in whatever situation they might be in while those with endless options cannot help but wonder if they would be happier had they chosen something else.  Would option B have actually been better than option A? 

Making decisions is stressful and, in our sociaty, we are continually called upon to make them.  If there were no decisions to make, could we all just relax?  Would we cease to suffer from hypertension? insomnia? and the like? 

Endless options and infinite possibilities are not the keys to happiness.  These things are not the core elements of freedom either.  I think that the key to happiness is contentment and that, in contentment, one finds true freedom.  Deep, personal freedom.  Freedom to just be.

Currently Watching Frequency (New Line Platinum Series) By Dennis Quaid, James Caviezel, Shawn Doyle, Elizabeth Mitchell, Andre Braugher see related

Operation Guinea Pig

Problem:  Lack of Cash

General Solution: A genius business endeavor…something that satisfies a not yet filled quadrant of the market.  Something for which there is demand but not supply…. Or, in this case, something for which I will create a demand and then supply! 

Exact Solution:  Breed Guinea Pigs. 

Plan: 

1)  Purchase one male and one female guinea pig whom I will call Ernest and Olive,          respectively.  Cost: $15 each

2)  Launch campaign to convince the public that guinea pigs are the ideal college pet!  Why you ask?  They are furry, like dogs and cats, but less time-consuming.  They live in a cage and, therefore, do not need to be walked and will be allowed in most apartment buildings and rental houses.  The list goes on and on!

3)  Allow pigs to do those things that are the meat and potatoes of the Discovery Channel.  *wink wink*  After all, they’re nothing but mammals.

4)  Wait through 6 week gesticulation period.

5) Enjoy piglets!  (For 4-ish weeks)

6)  Sell piglets to eager, potential pet owners for $15-$20 each depending on the size of the litter.

 
Positives of Plan:

1) Fool-proof

2) Piglets are born WITH hair unlike hamsters or gerbils.

3) I’m sure to more than break even after one litter of 3 piglets!

4)  Additional Business opportunity:  Guinea pig circus.